Netflix's recent adaptation of Shelby Van Pelt's bestselling novel Remarkably Bright Creatures has introduced an even wider audience to the story of Tova Sullivan, a widow navigating life after the loss of her husband and her only child. As Tova considers leaving the home she has occupied for decades to move into a retirement community, she confronts questions many older adults eventually face: Who will be there for me at the end? Who will carry my story forward?
For many, aging is imagined as a family affair. We picture spouses growing old together, adult children helping aging parents, and grandchildren inheriting family treasures and traditions. But for a growing number of Americans, that picture does not reflect reality. Some, like Tova, have experienced loss, while others have chosen different paths or built lives centered around friendships and community rather than traditional family structures. Whatever the reason, more people are facing the prospect of growing older without traditional familial support networks.
One of the most poignant passages in the novel occurs as Tova sorts through family belongings saved for future generations:
"She picks up a stack of yellowing pillowcases. Her mother had hand-embroidered the roses along the hem. The sheets let off a musty puff as Tova plops them onto the nearest linen pile. To be washed, of course, before being donated. All of these things had been stored away for her to pass along someday. Relics to be carried up the branches of the family tree. But the family tree had stopped growing long ago..."
The scene captures a challenge many people face as they age: not simply deciding who gets their possessions, but ensuring the meaning behind those possessions survives, and is handled with care. This decision is made decidedly more complex when considered in the context of our traditional assumptions about aging and family structures.
When there are no obvious heirs, how do we pass on not just the asset, but its meaning?
This issue is becoming increasingly common. For many, close friendships, neighbors, religious communities, and long-term companions provide more day-to-day support than biological relatives. Yet Virginia law generally prioritizes legal family relationships. If an older adult becomes incapacitated without proper planning, a close friend typically has no automatic authority to make medical decisions. Likewise, a trusted neighbor or longtime companion generally has no automatic right to inherit property, manage finances, or arrange final affairs. Instead, Virginia's default legal framework generally prioritizes spouses, children, parents, siblings, and other blood relatives. In many cases, these may not be the people who know you and your values best.
Fortunately, estate planning allows you to close that gap by legally empowering the people you trust most.
For those aging without a spouse or children, several planning tools become especially important:
· Financial Power of Attorney: A durable financial power of attorney allows you to choose who will manage your financial affairs if you become unable to do so yourself. This person does not need to be a family member. It can be a trusted friend, companion, or other individual who understands your wishes.
· Advance Medical Directive: An advance medical directive enables you to appoint a healthcare agent to make medical decisions on your behalf if you cannot communicate your preferences. Without this document, the people closest to you may have little legal authority to advocate for your wishes.
· Last Will and Testament: A properly drafted will ensures that your property passes to the individuals, charities, religious organizations, or other beneficiaries you choose. It also allows you to include personal letters or expressions of intent that help communicate the meaning behind your gifts.
· Trust Planning: For some individuals, trusts provide an even more flexible mechanism for preserving not only wealth, but also values and legacy. Trusts can support charitable causes, fund scholarships, maintain family property, or otherwise carry forward a person's priorities long after death.
At its core, estate planning is not just about distributing property. It is about preserving identity, relationships, and legacy. It allows you—not the state—to decide who will advocate for you, honor your wishes, and carry forward what mattered most.
One of the quiet lessons of Remarkably Bright Creatures is that family can take many forms. Meaningful connections can develop at any stage of life, and the people who matter most are not always linked by blood. As Tova’s story reminds us, growing older is not simply about what we leave behind. It is about what we built – and who will carry our stories forward.
If your closest relationships fall outside traditional family structures, thoughtful estate planning can ensure your chosen community has the legal authority to protect your wishes, your dignity, and your legacy. Contact Schooley Law Firm to learn how we can help you create a plan that reflects the life—and relationships—you have built.
